One of the first things we learnt as children was to say sorry,
Even if perhaps we didn’t know what it meant,
And that sorry was for shouting
Or not sharing
And after breaking mom’s favorite vase
But they didn’t teach us that sorry would change,
Sorry for shouting became sorry for speaking,
Sorry for not sharing toys became sorry for not sharing secrets,
And there were new sorry’s too,
Sorry’s we never knew
Sorry for laughing too hard, or not enough,
Sorry for loving too much, feeling too deep,
Sorry for being awkward, for being sad, for being hurt
And most of all, sorry for letting it show,
They didn’t teach us sorry could become monotonous,
A record playing over and over
Sorry can be a catch phrase
Said so often it becomes a wall.
And where once there was an afterglow of saying sorry ,
Now sorry is just used to push you out of the way,
A familiar ritual that long lost its symbolism
We never were told,
That sorry would be a word,
Spilled from our lips,
For every mistake, even when they were none,
To cover uncertainty and hesitance,
Sorry was a plea for understanding – a bitter drink in our mouths.
They didn’t let us know sorry could be meaningless,
Something to break the silence, something said for the sake of saying,
Sorry for sickness, sorry for death,
Sorry for a repeated sin,
Sorry could become an excuse.
They didn’t tell us sorry was an expectation,
Of forgiveness,
Even when bruises are still fresh
And wounds too open
Sorry is a hastily wrapped bandage that can’t stop the bleeding.
They didn’t tell us sorry wasn’t a magic wand,
Fixing up broken vases like superglue,
Instead sorry is duct tape,
Applied clumsily to jagged ends and raw nerves,
And you can still plainly see cracks,
And perhaps always will
They forgot to mention too,
About saying sorry to yourself
In the mirror.
To eyes haunted by past mistakes,
And the imprints of finger-nails left on sweaty palms,
As you force yourself to get through another day,
You never learnt to say sorry for that
And you choke on it even now
They taught us to say sorry,
But with all we learnt afterwards,
Perhaps it wasn’t worth teaching at all.